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JUST BE YOURSELF, HUNGRY GIRL

A Short Story

Uncle Arnie was a man, and an uncle, not unlike any other man and uncle. He laughed, sighed, hiked, biked, hunted, and raised Black Angus cattle. He refurbished then resold Ford Thunderbirds. He lived his days with all the vigor of a man in love with life and cholesterol. Arnold Walker was a man who would spoon Country Crock straight out of the container.

Until death came—death that was blue, and bloated, with crazy eyes bulging out.

When he had shaken the girls awake to tell them a surprise blizzard had blustered in and dropped a foot of snow, the warning out of his lips, “We gotta skedaddle, girls, and pronto!” they could see it: the reddened face, the bulging neck vein, the many telltale signs of the coming fall.

And fall he did.

First to one knee then to the other. He lay there, clutching his left arm, his tomato face constricting in its death throes and looking as if it was about to burst. Taking his final, sputtering breath, the girls could almost hear their mother with her quivery jowls and jingly bracelets curse, “Damn, that redneck brother of mine. Taking his nieces on a fishing trip into the mountains on the first of November without snow tires? The weather could turn at the drop of a hat!”

Or at the drop of an uncle.

An uncle who, prostrate before them, lay as dead as a door-nail on the floorboards of this newly-constructed, unlit, bare-bones log cabin at eight-thousand feet in a playground of peaks and precipices in west-central Colorado. He appeared to the girls every bit zombie-like with his petrified gaze at the wood joists and trusses above them, as they stared zombie-like down at the body.

“Great,” Daphne said, her guileless brown eyes narrowing behind their horn-rimmed glasses. She lifted his leg with the toe of her boot then dropped it. “Now what are we supposed to do? It’s not like we can call 911.” She looked down at her sister’s hands. “You’re shaking. What’s wrong?”

“Of course I’m shaking,” Daphne exclaimed. “A person just died! A family member, even, sort of.”

Daphne snorted. “Well, don’t you go have a heart attack on me now.” She stole a glance at the cabin door; then, whizzed out of it and was back inside before Chloe could even finish her “Where are you going?” sentence. “To help you get hydrated, that’s where,” Daphne said. “Here—I would offer you a glass of cold water to help you get your color back but all I’ve got is this handful of cold snow. No way I’m walking all the way to the lake.”

“My color?” Daphne said, stuffing the snow into her mouth.

Daphne shook her head. “You’re pale. You don’t look so hot. Of course, you were never very hot looking; although, right now Plain Jane’s got bigger things to worry about.”

Chloe twisted a smile. “I’m not Plain Jane.”

“All right, you’re Plain Janet.” Lowering her gaze, Daphne flicked a nod at the body. “Why don’t you put your coat back on. It was a nice sentiment, but I don’t think he’ll be needing it any more.”

Gritting her teeth, and twitching her eyelids, Chloe fought back the tears as she buttoned her purple puffer coat. She had seen death before. Only, her father’s face with its closed eyes had looked altogether peaceful as he lay in his coffin; Uncle Arnie’s reddened face with its bulging eyes was the very picture of torment. A part of herself died at that moment: it got up and laid down beside her uncle. She wondered if the Benson family might be under some kind of curse; and which family member might fall next.

Chloe gulped. So much for the three hots and a cot Uncle had promised Mom as a condition to her granting permission, she thought. So much for Uncle Arnie’s plan for roughing it by supplying only the barest essentials so he could make redneck queens out of his seventeen-and-fifteen-year-old nieces. “That means no cell phones,” he had told them. “No signal in the high country, anyway”. So much for the promised ‘adventure’ of a fishing trip into the mountains. So much for poor, red-faced—and now blue-faced—Uncle Arnie. Chloe sighed.

Tucking her blonde pony-tail down the sweatshirt she wore underneath her coat, Chloe squatted to comb the much sparser and shorter blond hairs of her uncle’s head. She flattened any protruding hairs in his beard. She closed his eyelids, then stood. “Maybe we should say a prayer for him, like we did for Dad.”

Daphne grimaced. “To whom? For what? He’s dead. C’mon, let’s haul him into the truck so we can bring him home.”

Wiping the wetness in the corner of her eye, Chloe looked down at her younger sister, and shrugged.

With the girls each pulling an arm as they dragged their uncle out to the truck, Daphne studied the body. “No marks anywhere. So, it’s not like they’re gonna think we killed him.”

Chloe’s heart pattered underneath her sweatshirt. “Oh, would they think that?”

“No. That’s what I’m saying.”

Daphne gunned the engine then tapped—then floored—the accelerator, yet the truck just spun its four balding tires further into the embankment. The truck rocked, rolled—about an inch, sputtered fumes, and flung snow.

“Oh, my God, Daph. We’re stuck!” Chloe slammed the car door then kicked one of the tires, thinking maybe that might move it but it only sent icicles flying. She took a deep breath. “No amp, either. Isn’t that what Uncle Arnie had called it?”

Daphne straightened her beanie. “He called it a short-wave radio. The amplifier was what was busted, remember? That was why we couldn’t bring it.” Daphne turned her face to a sky that was a torrent of glistening white doom. Rolling back her coat-sleeve then wiping the snowy residue off of her glasses with the sleeve of her shirt, she said, softly, “It’s the perfect storm.”

Even with her glasses on, Daphne could never have seen that this “perfect storm” would mark the beginning of her journey to stardom. It would happen over the course of nine stormy nights.

DAY ONE

Later that same evening, Chloe found her wandering eyes cross paths with the body. Against her objections, Daphne had made the fateful decision to drag the body back inside.

“It’s smoking,” Chloe said, observing the mists emanating from the torso and head. “Is that normal? Maybe we should put him back in the truck.”

Daphne poked her head out of the sleeping bag to get a better look. “He’s losing the last of his body heat, it’s perfectly normal. No, I think we should keep him here, just in case. He may still be able to help us.”

Chloe batted her eyes. “Help us? Daph...” Clearing her throat, Chloe called for an Emergency Sleeping Bag Meeting; and was thrilled when Daphne agreed they need not, and so should not, resort to such extreme measures so soon.

“I wasn’t thinking that.” Daphne grinned. “I just thought we might wanna keep him here for, like, sentimental reasons or whatever.”

“Sentimental reasons?” Chloe said. Her shoulder’s slumped. “OK, I’m new to this survivalist stuff. What is that supposed to mean, exactly?”

Daphne explained, “It means we keep him here in plain sight to remind us what dead means, of what not making it means. Know what I mean? Not a pretty sight, is it?”

Chloe swallowed. “No.”

An hour later, Chloe eyed the window of their deep-forest, mountain sanctuary. Huddled beside Daphne in a pretzel embrace inside of their sleeping bag rated for ten degrees Fahrenheit not the two degrees that displayed on the thermometer on the cabin’s exterior, she listened as the winds howled. She watched these winds laden with snowflakes whip against a backdrop of evergreen and aspen and an unrelenting grayness. Through the window she could see, out in the distance, the murky outlines of the plateau-like Black Mesa, and the jagged slopes of Red Mountain.

The names meant nothing to them now: the hundred-and-one identifiers of geologic feature their uncle had cited for them on the drive from Grand Junction to this ruggedly beautiful, but altogether secluded, weekend-getaway spot.

The girls spent the remainder of the evening snacking on the flimsy pair of PB&Js their uncle had made for them back in Junction and brainstorming their next move.

“I think we should try the truck again,” Chloe said, swallowing not just the peanut butter stuck in her throat but the ball of nerves stuck there. She took the last bite of her sandwich, crust and all.

Daphne narrowed her eyes at the window. “We’re gonna try it a thousand times if we have to. Where’s the nearest town, do you think?”

Chloe wiped her mouth. “Montrose, remember? It was a fifteen-minute drive from there to here in the truck, if I recall. I don’t know how long that would be walking.” Chloe started to say something else when Daphne raised a finger. This meant Daphne was calculating.

Chloe watched as Daphne’s wonder brain did its thing. “Well?” Chloe said, finally.

Daphne’s shoulders slumped. She lolled her head.

Chloe gulped. “That far, huh?”

Standing, Daphne dusted the crumbs off of her jacket. “If it was a million miles we would still have to try. Tomorrow, if the snow clears, we’ll take our long walk.”

Chloe’s eyes bulged. “All the way to town?”

Daphne walked to the window and traced slowly its sill with her gloved finger. “If I get tired I’ll let you give me a piggyback ride the rest of the way, ‘kay?”

DAY TWO

The snow did not clear the next morning. However, with their hunger pains beginning to set in and only a packet of beef jerky and three granola bars available as food rations, they decided to make a break for it. They hiked a mile through foot-high snowbanks until the blustery winds and their cold feet convinced them to retrace their steps back to the cabin.

“My toes are so numb they feel like they’re gonna fall off,” Daphne said, as they ascended the steps. Pondering, she stopped. “I wonder if Uncle would let us have his socks...” she leaned against the door “...and that warm-looking shirt of his; and his—”

“If your socks are wet, I’ll let you take his. But nothing besides. It’s called respect for the dead, Daph.”

Daphne pushed the door open. “That’s funny. How you think you can tell me what I can and cannot take.”

Chloe stood watching as Daphne stripped her uncle’s feet and ankles of their cover. “I wish we had a nice suit we could dress him up in. You know, like the one they put Dad in. Make him look real nice.”

Daphne unbuttoned her uncle’s plaid wool shirt. “Look nice for who, the worms?” She claimed his wallet, stuffing into her coat pocket. “At least Dad bought us birthday presents, even though it usually wasn’t what we had ask for. At least he did things like give you rides to basketball practice, and me to band practice. At least we saw him. Did we ever see Uncle Arnie? Not hardly.”

“I wish I could cry for him some more but I can’t,” Chloe said. “Maybe it’s because my tear ducts are frozen.”

Daphne rose. “That’s right, we’ve got our own problems.” She walked to the door. “C’mon...”

The girls tried to get the truck rolling again, but all it did was spin its tires and belch exhaust again.

“Cheer up, Chloe. Today’s storms are tomorrow’s rainbows,” Daphne said, laying a hand on her sister’s shoulder on their way up the steps. “Tomorrow, we’ll go fishing. Let’s think of this as an adventure!”

Later that evening, lying in the sleeping bag and staring into the inky blackness, Daphne intoned, suddenly, “It came upon a midnight clear, after all we held so close and dear, went up in smoke with the late-night draft; it came and went, and left us Daph.”

Chloe guffawed. “Left us...Daph? You mean, you?”

Daphne nodded. “It’s a poem about survival. I composed it in my head just now, to help us get motivated to survive or whatever.”

“Daph the Destroyer,” Chloe said, smiling. She giggled. “That’s the name that immediately came to mind when you were saying that just now. It’s a good poem, Daph.”
Daphne shrugged. “Actually, it’s not. I’m sure I can come up with something better.”

“Like what?”

After Daphne shared a half-dozen other poems she composed on the spot, a few of them rousing Chloe to rounds of applause, the girls decided to try something different to break up the monotony of just lying around.

A game of charades.

“Who am I?” Daphne asked, peering through an invisible pair of binoculars then walking in a high-step manner then pulling at an invisible backpack on her shoulder. Chloe tried, but failed to guess correctly.

“I’m Dora the Explorer,” Daphne clarified.

Chloe laid pondering. Whatever hint of smile had been on her face while she conjured up mental images of Daphne as Dora the Explorer, slowly faded to a frown as her mind began to conjure up images of the past. Finally, she said, “Whatever you say, Daph the Destroyer,” then yanked the sleeping bag flap over her head.

DAY THREE

The third day of their snow-in was all about fishing. On their way to the pond, Chloe boasted that she could “cast a line” as well as any “almost eighteen-year-old” from what she had learned in her one year of Girl Scouts. However, it was Daphne who ended up catching the fish.

With her perch dangling from her wire, Daphne said, “Uncle was right. Fishing’s kinda fun.”

“Not!” the girls exclaimed in unison.

Chloe reeled in her line. Sighing, she eyed the spiky back-fin on Daphne’s perch. “Nice one, Daph.”
Daphne nodded. “Kid Sister knows how to get things done. Stick with her, and you’ll be alright.” She stole a glance at her fish’s big, bulging eyes. “Maybe,” she mumbled.

Gutting the fish was even less fun.

“This stuff looks as gross AF, but may still be edible.” Daphne squatted to probe with her finger the slop of entrails that lay smoking in the snow.

Chloe felt like barfing a lung just looking at it. “I think I’d rather starve.”

Daphne shrugged. “It’s your funeral.” She pinched a piece of intestine off the slop. She put it in her mouth. Chewing, she said, “Tastes like chicken.”

With wide eyes, Chloe looked at Daphne then down at the guts. “Really?”

Daphne swallowed, hard. “No, not really. It tastes even grosser than it looks.” She kicked snow over the entrails then headed back to the cabin; Chloe trailed behind her with the fishing poles.

It wasn’t the Van de Kamp’s fish sticks Mom used to make them as late-night snacks, but it was still fish. The girls greatly enjoyed roasting the fillets over an open flame, even though that flame was just a succession of lit matches snatched from a matchbox in the truck’s glove compartment.

Nibbling on the last of the bones, Daphne suggested they play charades.

Chloe went first. She pantomimed bouncing a basketball, gathering a rebound, shooting a jump shot. Attempting a make-believe slam-dunk, she tripped over Daphne’s foot; and with her legs and ankles wobbling, she collapsed to the floor.

Daphne laughed. “If you stay down like that forever I’d guess you’re Kobe Bryant. Otherwise, Michael Jordan, or some other basketball player.”

Chloe struggled to get up. “It was supposed to be Lebron James. And I’m fine, by the way.”

Daphne stood. “My turn.” She pursed her lips, poked her nose into the air then walked around the cabin with slow, graceful steps; still Chloe failed to guess who she was. It was only when Daphne said she was “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” that Chloe guessed, “Mary Poppins.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “I know. Classy, sassy, smart. Grandpa’s pet name for you; he used to call you that all the time.” Chloe laid her head back. “By the way, there are no verbal clues allowed in charades. It’s cheating.”

“I couldn’t help it; you’re slow! You should have known that one.” Daphne walked to the door; she tossed the bones out then washed her hands in the snow. Closing the door, she said, “Besides, cheating only matters if you get caught.”

Chloe snickered. “Um, didn’t I just catch you?”

Daphne settled in beside Chloe. “Ah, but you’re the victim. The victim needs a witness. You have none.”

Warily, Chloe eyed her sister. “Victim?” She pulled the sleeping bag over her head. “The things you say sometimes, Daph. It makes me wonder about you.”

Gazing into the darkness, Daphne said, suddenly, “Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” She turned to Chloe. “Some old-timey poet whose name I forgot once wrote that.” She closed her eyes. “Wouldn’t cheese and crackers be good right about now, to wash down this bad fish taste?”

You’re giving me a bad taste, too, right about now, Chloe thought.

Sleep did not come easy for the girls that night, but at least their stomachs did not growl.

DAY FOUR

On the morning of the fourth day the snow stopped. Daphne suggested this might be their only chance. Tying up their boots, pulling on their gloves, and lowering their beanies, the girls ventured out with high hopes. The snow which rose to their knees was reason enough for the girls to turn back; however, Daphne insisted they push forward. It was only when they heard the telltale, high-pitched sounds coming from a short distance ahead that they stopped in their tracks. Coyotes. A whole pack of them, it sounded like. They were yipping and yapping. Daphne said she saw one, and ran for her life.

Chloe chased after her. “Wait, you’re going in the wrong direction!”

The girls succeeded in avoiding a run-in with the coyotes, but in the process got lost. Chloe approached, then slowed, then stood alongside her sister. Panting, they darted their eyes frantically from rock, to tree, to shrub, to mountain, trying to recognize something familiar. Nothing was.

The terrain was flat, very unlike the rocky incline that Chloe had just chased Daphne down for what might have been fifteen whole minutes. All around them were aspen trees interspersed with the occasional evergreen; and just beyond these were mountains that towered over them on all sides. The single road that crossed this high-country patch of no-man’s-land was nowhere to be seen.

“We’re in a valley.” Daphne said. “How did we get here?”

“It was like you were possessed. You kept running, and running, and laughing, and running...”

Daphne stood, blinking. She veered her head to the left, the right, up, then, over at the nearest fir tree. She stepped to it. “Yeah, I was, uh...” she studied the tree “...just wantin’ to see if the sap on these branches might be edible.” She plucked a dried gob of sap off the trunk then tasted it. Wrinkling her face, she spat it out. “Nope, not edible.”

Chloe looked up at the mountains. “What does that mean, valley? We’re at the bottom? We’re in Montrose?”

Daphne unzippered her coat: stream rose from her torso into the cold air. “Does this look like Montrose? No, we’re not at the bottom.” She wiped the sweat off of her brow. “I think what we need to do is get to higher ground so we can look for the cabin.” Daphne explained to Chloe that Colorado mountain ranges were not lone mountain peaks surrounded by flat land but a series of mounds and peaks of varying heights intersected by winding valleys. “At the very bottom of all of those mounds and peaks is the for-realz valley,” Daphne said. “Remember all those cows we saw on the drive over?”

Chloe exclaimed, “Oh, yeah. Those cute cows!”

“No cows here, though. See?”

The girls elected to climb the mountain ridge with the least imposing slope and the most sunlight on it. With Daphne in the lead, they trekked just far enough up it to be able to see above the line of trees in the valley where they had just stood. “There it is,” Daphne said, pointing at the log cabin high up on the other side of the valley.

She grabbed Chloe’s arm. “C’mon, you can look at the eagles and pretty trees later.”

Trekking for over an hour through snow that rose to the tops of their boots, and scouring for berry bushes or edible plant-life along the way—but finding nothing but pine-cones, they finally approached the pond, and then, the cabin. They burst through the door and collapsed.

Lying on the wood floorboards adjacent to the body, Daphne laughed hysterically until she could laugh no more; then she began to cry.

With a startled look on her face, and tears threatening her own eyes, Chloe sat crossed-legged in the sleeping bag, munching on the last of the granola bars. She was unable to come up with a single word of consolation to offer to her younger sister. Finally, she was able to say, “Why don’t we play charades?”

Daphne stopped crying, just like that. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “Ok.” She stood. “I’ll go first.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “You always wanna go first. Go ahead.”

Raising her reddened nose into the air, in a thin, reedy voice, Daphne recited, as one of her clues,

“Because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me.
The carriage held but just ourselves, and immortality.”


Chloe shrugged. “No idea.”

Daphne said, with the greatest of solemnity, “Emily Dickinson.” Through chapped lips, she explained, “Emily Dickinson was one of the greatest poets ever.” She said she knew this because all of the poetry books, anthologies, commentaries, and the internet, said so; and because she had investigated; and because she really liked poetry.

Chloe’s eyes lit up. “I can tell.” She wormed around the insides of her sleeping bag. “Whoever wrote that was obviously a whole lot older than we are, though, Daph.”

Daphne cocked her head. “Writing poetry isn’t just for old people, you know. It’s for everyone. Every song lyric you’ve ever heard is a kind of poem.”

Chloe sat up. “I was thinking...I saw a notebook and pen in the glove compartment in the truck. I can go get them then you can write down all of those awesome poems you got stuck in your head. It’ll give you something to do, anyway.”

Daphne returned to the sleeping bag. “Nah,” she said, zippering them in. “Poetry doesn’t compute: it rouses sensationalism and incites ill-fated forays into the machinery of life.” She sniffled. “A magazine article written by some distinguished math professor guy I had read once said that.”

Chloe wanted to say that Daphne’s math guy sounded like a poet himself, but was interrupted by her yawn. The girls fell asleep within seconds.

DAY FIVE

With the last of the beef jerky dispatched by the girls in the early hours of the following morning, they were out of food.

“But not out of luck,” Daphne said, the sunshine in her eyes belying the tears that had poured from them the night before. “We still have fishing poles. Let’s go catch some breakfast.”

Fishing poles in hand, and with a bounce in their step, the girls headed out to the pond. They halted at the pond’s edge, staring blankly at the ground beneath their feet which they realized was not the edge of the pond, but the pond itself. It had frozen over. While Chloe cursed, Daphne proposed they try to break through the ice with some of the tools she had seen lying in the trunk of the truck. Then, they could ice fish.

“I’ll go get the tools!” Daphne exclaimed, scurrying off, though a bit too hurriedly. She slipped, and with feet flying and arms flailing, fell backward. Her head hit the ice.

Chloe heard the loud thwacking sound and saw the ice splinter and, fearing the worst, rushed to help Daphne up off the ice. The process took five whole minutes. Daphne had a difficult time standing.

“You’re bleeding,” Chloe said, separating the tufts of hair with her fingers as she studied the red smudge on Daphne’s head. “It’s not bad, though.”

Wincing, Daphne said, “Do you think I need stitches?” Shaking her head, she sighed. “Forget I asked. I mean, like you would even know.” She swiped the snow off of her pant leg. “Great. No doctor around. Not even an anesthesiologist.” Putting her beanie back on, Daphne cocked her head. “Isn’t that what you said you wanted to be when you grow up—an anesthesiologist?”

Chloe held Daphne’s arm, steadying her. “I never said that. I don’t even remember thinking that. I don’t know what I want to be yet. Right now, I’m just focused on getting through high school...and snow-ins.”

Daphne snarled.

Chloe raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean, that weird look on your face just now?”

Daphne gritted her teeth. “Honestly, Chloe, I hate when you say things like that: ‘I don’t know what I want to be just yet.’ You sound so damned...casual. Like you couldn’t give a shit.”

Chloe bit her lip. “Why would you think that I wanted to be an anestemologist, or whatever it was you called it?”

Daphne blinked, repeatedly, then touched the sore spot on her head. She winced. “My head is spinning, maybe that’s why I thought you had said that. It hurts almost as much as my stomach does. I feel dizzy.”

Chloe escorted a dazed Daphne back to the cabin.

As Chloe lay Daphne down in the sleeping bag, Daphne said, “I just had an idea. That toolbox in the truck. Go get it for me; also, the car radio. It should pop right out of the dashboard.”

Chloe tapped her foot, impatiently. “The radio? We can’t listen to it in here without—”

“Just do it,” Daphne said, sharply. She breathed. “I’m gonna re-wire that radio to make it work like a short-wave transmitter. Then, we can use it to send a distress signal.”

Chloe said nothing.

Daphne folded her arms. “Look, even though my head is spinning right now, I can still think straight, OK?”

Chloe shrugged then went to get the toolbox and car stereo.

Daphne wasted no time getting to work on her “mad scientist project,” as Chloe would come to refer to it privately. “I don’t think it’s gonna work,” Chloe said, eyeing the wires, transistors, circuit board, and tools Daphne had scattered across the floor.

Daphne stacked the screwdriver, hammer, and some other weird looking tool on Uncle’s chest. “Space-saving measure,” she explained.

Watching her sister twirl the screwdriver and study the various electrical components, Chloe said, finally, “Look, so, sure, you won that seventh grade spelling bee, and got straight A’s, but that doesn’t make you Edward Edison.”

Daphne twisted a copper wire. “Don’t worry. I got this,” she said, continuing to tinker. She looked up. “Oh, and I think you mean Thomas Edison, the inventor guy.”

As shadows fell over the room, Daphne kept working. When darkness enveloped the room, Daphne kept working. Chloe encouraged Daphne to give it a break and for the sake of her health to lie down; but to no avail.

“All right.” Chloe rubbed her hands together. “Time for charades.”

Daphne snapped her head up. She dropped her pliers then stood—but only for a second. She tottered, then fell over. Padding on her hands and knees to the door, she flung it open, and threw up.

“Oh, my God!” Chloe exclaimed.

Swiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Daphne said she was ready to play charades.

Chloe said, “No way, you need to lie down;” but then changed her mind when Daphne agreed to offer her clues while lying down.

After two dozen clues and Chloe still guessing, Daphne revealed she was “Helen of Troy.”

Chloe frowned. “Who the heck’s that?”

Staring at the ceiling, Daphne said, meditatively, “The most tragic female figure in all of western literature.” She came to. “No, wait,” she said, hopping out of bed and returning to sit cross-legged in the darkness by her pliers, wires, and circuit board. “I’m Thomas Edison, famous inventor.” Lowering her pliers, Daphne mused, “Was it Thomas Edison who invented the fudge brownie?”

DAY SIX

The sisters clenched their numbed fingers and chattered their teeth in an attempt to stymie the twin pains that afflicted them, of which the bitter cold was the lesser affliction by far.

The hunger. It bit. It gnawed. It roiled, rumbled, and gurgled.

On the sixth morning, Daphne was back at work on her mad scientist project. With the sun up, and light filtering in through the frost on the window, Chloe had a better view of the wreckage. It really did look like a mad scientist project with parts scattered everywhere; and Daphne really did look like a mad scientist. It was clear she had no idea what she was doing. She mixed and matched screws and wires then set them into little piles based, seemingly, on size and color; for an hour she rotated what looked to be the volume dial, back and forth, back and forth, her dull eyes staring, seemingly, at the dial, but when Chloe took a closer look she noticed they were staring at nothing. Daphne’s eye sockets were red-rimmed and sunken. Her face was pale. All afternoon she sang and whistled the same lyric to the same song over and over again, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas...”

“It’s beginning to look a lot like someone’s going bonkers,” Chloe mumbled.

As Daphne snuggled into the sleeping bag beside her sister, she noted how much warmer it was with Chloe there alongside her. Chummily, she nudged Chloe. “See, you’re good for something, after all.”

Chloe slapped Daphne’s beanie clear off of her head. “Shut up, you.”

They played charades again.

Chloe rolled herself up into a fetal position on the floor.

Daphne offered guesses in rapid-fire succession, “You’re a coiled armadillo, a porcupine, a millipede, a hibernating snake, um...”

Tucked into a ball, Chloe attempted to roll her body, but had difficulty doing so until finally she just said, “Imagine me rolling, and bouncing.”

Daphne groaned. “You’re a basketball?”

Chloe nodded.

Daphne pointed her finger, exclaiming, “That’s against the rules; it’s not allowed. You have to be a person, not a thing! No verbal cues, too, remember? They’ll catch you. They’ll arrest you. They’ll hook you up to an electric chair!” Daphne walked over to the corner of the room. “Alright, my turn.”

She laid herself down on the floor, motionless.

Chloe sat up. “Um, you’re a sick person?” she said, scratching her head. “You’re someone who got electrocuted because she was fiddling with wires too long? You’re a floorboard!”

“No, silly,” Daphne said, getting up then lying next to the body, mimicking its pose, bulging eyes and all.

Chloe gulped. “You’re a dead body?”

“Uncle Arnie’s dead body,” Daphne said, just as her stomach made a loud gurgling noise. “Yup.”

DAY SEVEN

The next morning Daphne complained of a fever, but kept working.

“Daphne...” Chloe said, walking over “...you need to stop this and lie down.”

Daphne intertwined some red wire with another red wire then wrapped those wires around some blue wire then tried to plunge the copper tip of the blue wire into a square metal piece on the circuit board, all of which even a non-electrician like Chloe knew made no sense whatsoever.

“I can do this,” Daphne said, straightening her glasses. “For realz, I can.”

Someone please give this girl a clue! Chloe thought, as Daphne kept trying to insert the wire tip into the square metal piece. Chloe said, “Do you even know what you’re doing?”

Daphne dropped the wire. “No.” She looked up. “I’m the smartest girl in school, though. Smartest girls in school are supposed to know how to figure things out. If I can figure this out, it might prove I’m not only smart, but clever. Considering our circumstance, they might even put me on TV.”

Chloe took her younger sister by the hand. “You don’t have to prove anything to me or to anybody.” She walked Daphne to the sleeping bag then laid down beside her.

Daphne pulled off her beanie and combed her short brown hair. “If only we were adults then we would have this whole thing figured out in, like, two seconds.” Daphne put her hat back on. “Figuring stuff out is usually a piece of cake; I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She looked at the thermos beside the sleeping bag. “Maybe it’s this melted snow we’re drinking.” She raised up on her elbows. “Know what else is tough figuring out? Whether I wanna be Mary Poppins, Thomas Edison, or Emily Dickinson.” She leaned back. “You have it so easy, Chloe. You’re happy just being everyday, average Chloe.” She smiled. “Sometimes I hate you for that. I mean, I really hate you.”

Chloe flinched. Her expression darkened. “Hate me? Oh, so maybe that’s why you just out-of-the-blue decided to do what you did...” Chloe stilled herself “...that one time.”

Daphne bit her lip. “Chloe...” she said, touching her sister’s arm, “please know that I would never, ever in my right mind do anything to harm you.”

Chloe jerked her arm away. “You know,” she said, clearing her throat then reaching for the thermos, “I could try hiking down the mountain all by myself.” She wondered, though, if this was possible even in full health and ski pants. “I’m not leaving you, though, I’ve decided. I refuse to abandon you.” Looking into her sister’s yellowed eyes with optimism glistening in her own, she said, “I know you would do the same for me.”

Daphne lowered her head.

“What?” Chloe said.

Daphne coughed. “Sure, Chloe, whatever you say.”

As the first of the shadows stretched their long, dark tentacles into the cabin, Chloe looked back to see Daphne smiling at her. Thinking Daphne was asleep, Chloe had been indulging a long, fascinated glance at the body; and Daphne had caught her.

Daphne rose on her pinkened elbows. “You notice it too, don’t you? How almost poetic it is: the sublimity of his expression, how very peaceful he looks; and how he wouldn’t mind in the slightest if we were to—”

“Let’s play charades again,” Chloe said, hopping up. “I’ll go first this time.”

Chloe pantomimed a bear, which Daphne guessed correctly after only the second clue.

Daphne pantomimed “a member of the Donner Party.”

Chloe blinked.

Daphne slapped her thigh. “Flipping heck, you don’t know who the Donner Party is? They were a group of pioneers who got stranded and ended up eating one another. Didn’t you notice the stabbing and eating motions I was making?” Daphne craned her neck. “By the way, think you could you pass me one of those granola bars over there?”

Chloe handed her an empty wrapper. “Here. Enjoy. That’s what’s left.”

Just be Yourself, Hungry Girl: Project

DAY EIGHT
Chloe awoke at the break of dawn of the following day to see her sister seated in a fetal position beside the corpse, rocking back and forth.

Daphne’s eyes remained fixed on the body, but she must have heard the rustling of the nylon of the sleeping bag that Chloe made upon awakening because it was right then she said, as the tears came, “Even this loose, scaly skin on his elbow is something I could go for at this point. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for just one salt-flavored bite of this forearm!”

Chloe rubbed the sleep gunk out of her eyes. “Remember, Daph, that poem you recited the other day about a carriage? Someone—or something: an idea, maybe—will come to us. We’ll figure something out. The solution is probably something really simple. We need to just hang in there and keep waiting. Soon, an answer will come.”

“Along with french fries, and strawberry ice cream, hopefully, too!” Daphne screeched. She crawled back to the sleeping bag, swerving around the piles of electronics along the way.

Chloe watched Daphne snuggle in beside her. “You can have strawberry ice cream later,” she said. “When we get to heaven.”

Daphne’s eyes lit up. “Heaven has ice cream?”

Chloe shrugged. She had to be strong and wise for her younger sister, and denying the possibility of a happy-ending-type landing was probably not the best way to go about ensuring against a complete psychological breakdown in the event their answer did not come, or arrived too late. Chloe encouraged herself to act as grown-up as possible; and one good way, she figured, was to try to accept and confront all possibilities, however grim.

No way, though, it ends like that for us, she thought, pressing against her sister’s warmth. I’ve got that championship game next week. Coach said he would start me at point-guard. Would Saint Peter or whomever want me to miss the big game?

Their sights fell upon the life-saving proposition advertising itself not ten feet away from their sleeping bag. The speckles of ice on his facial hair made Daphne mention about “frozen desserts” again; the flabbiness of its upper arm—about “vanilla pudding;” as for the sinuous forearm, she said it reminded her of “pulled pork and baby-back ribs.” Chloe pretended not to hear.

Truth be told, it was during the course of their Emergency Sleeping Bag Meeting held on Day One the girls had agreed that no amount of food deprivation could ever justify eating any human being, never mind a family member.

“Maybe we’re being too idealistic,” Daphne announced, suddenly, in apparent reference to that days earlier agreement. “Maybe we need to put some of our altruism aside, and think of our own needs first.”

“There are times, Daph, when I’m thinking your brain is too big for the rest of you. Alterism? I don’t even know what that word means.”

Adjusting her glasses, Daphne huffed, impatiently. “Altruism: it means we’re charitable. Don’t you know anything?”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Can’t you ever speak like a normal fifteen-year-old?”

“I’m not a normal fifteen-year-old. I’m a...” Daphne breathed “... supercalifragilisticexpialidocious fifteen-year-old.”

“Okay, Mary Poppins.”

An hour later, after a stretch-of-the-legs walk around the cabin, Daphne, rounding up the few twigs they had scrounged on their venture out to the pond, relocated the bundle from its spot in the corner of the cabin to in front of the door. A pair of strike-anywhere matches that was all that was left in the matchbox they had discovered in the truck, and the salt and pepper packets they had since discovered in the cupboard above the sink that didn’t work, Daphne set on the counter-top.

“Only two matches left, so we can’t waste them,” Daphne said. “Maybe we can even use these sticks here to build a fire outside to roast him over. And for seasoning—well, we’ve got these salt and pepper packets here…”

“Daphne!” Chloe exclaimed. But then Chloe lost her astonishment: she knew what Daphne had been thinking ever since her rocking-chair impression over by the proposed main-entree. Chloe walked to the counter. “Oh, so that’s what you meant by us being…too idealistic.” With her back turned to her sister, Chloe handled the salt and pepper packets.

“So, you agree, then?” replied Daphne.

Chloe dropped the packets and returned to the sleeping bag. Her jumbled thoughts and conflicting considerations rattled her conscience not unlike the winds continuing to batter that lone, rickety window of the cabin with winter wetness. Chloe rolled on her side. “You know, since that first day, I’ve been thinking—”

“About what,” Daphne said, quickly, her eyes brightening.

The sisters exchanged knowing glances, which, for Chloe, seemed to fill in all of the empty spaces of explanation omitted by Daphne’s mutterings in the direction of what was now officially the elephant in the room. Daphne’s weird remarks about the body and those side-long glances had gone on long enough. Daphne’s latest remark about roasted arm flab was weirder still; it made Chloe feel sick. It was frustrating not being able to discuss it, like, well, adults. Chloe had an idea she thought might open the door to some meaningful discussion and which, maybe, in the end, might cool Daphne off to the point of freezing out these ideas she seemed to be having about eating dead people. With a shiver, Chloe thought, And maybe living ones, too. Chloe laid the bait. “I’ve been thinking, Daph…maybe he wasn’t the jolly ol’ country gentleman we were all along led to believe.”

Daphne crooked a smile.

“What I mean to say is…he might not have been such a good guy.”

Daphne’s stomach growled. “Really?” her voice broke.

“Yeah.” Chloe’s expression darkened, her eyes grew large and her voice somber as she moved to explain. “I’m thinking that he invited us out on this trip, Daph, maybe for his own sake rather than for ours. See—” Chloe turned to gaze on the in-question party, “I overhead Mom cuss him out last month when he came over. She told him that in fifteen whole years he had not done a single thing for his two nieces. Then, like a week later, Uncle Arnie invites us on this weirdo, surprise fishing trip to his cabin in the mountains. Bottom line, this was a rush job, Daph, to get Mom off his back. He knew winter was coming, and probably didn’t want to have to endure five months of Mom nagging him while he waited for spring. Maybe that’s why he forgot his heart meds and couldn’t wait another week to get that amp—I mean, shortwave radio of his—fixed.”

Daphne put in, “He didn’t tell even Mom where we were going, either. When she asked, I heard him say ‘the weather’s peachy keen, Maureen; welp, we’re heading on out to the high country.’”

Chloe groaned. “The whole state is high country. Good luck trying to find us.” She exhaled. “So, there’s that. Then, there was this time long ago when I was really young; even younger than you are now, Daph—”

“Hey, I’m not that young. I’m fifteen and two-thirds, old enough for driver’s ed!”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “It’s that drivers ed of yours that buried the truck. I have a license. I should have driven. Anyway—” Chloe cleared her throat “—I heard him say, well, the MF word.”

Daphne grinned. “No MFing way.” She lost her smile. “I mean, that’s not a thing to say around kids!”

“I know, right? What’s more, he smokes those nasty cigars; and when he eats, he snorts, sometimes, like a pig.”

“I noticed that. Just like a pig! It’s disgusting. God, you would almost think he was one.”
Chloe wrinkled her forehead. “One what?”

“Pig,” Daphne exclaimed. “An animal!”

Chloe considered it; and considered, too, how well her bait was working. Too well, it seemed.

Daphne thumbed her nose up and squeaked, “Oink, oink,” as she, then Chloe, burst into giggles. It was the first time in seven days they had experienced anything remotely resembling mirth…

Or hope.

Shivering, Daphne pulled her zippered coat-collar over her nose. “I see what you’re getting at, Chloe. And you’re right; he was probably in reality a major jerk-wad. But even if he wasn’t, it wouldn’t matter. Have you ever read the works of Nietsche, or Darwin?”

Chloe sighed. “I’m usually too busy bouncing basketballs, remember? And hanging out with Jenna. And trying to get Brad to be a better boyfriend.”

Raising an eyebrow, Daphne said, “Brad won’t be a better boyfriend until you expand your vocabulary and learn what the words ‘putting out’ mean.”

Chloe guffawed. “Ah, c’mon. I know what those words mean,” she said, reddening.

“You sure don’t act like it from what Jenna tells me.” Daphne warmed her nose with the ball of her fist. “Anyway, like I was saying...man is an animal. All of the scientists and philosophers say so. Man lives, then he dies. We are all just, for a short while, walking pieces of meat, nothing more. Pretty depressing, but those are the facts of life.” She folded her arms. “Speaking of facts—we’re hungry. And speaking of meat...” Daphne snatched a match off the counter then stepped towards the body “...do you like yours medium-rare, or well-done? C’mon, help me drag this thing outside…or should we just eat him raw?”

Chloe sighed. She remained on her back, burdened not only with the physical weaknesses brought on by hunger and chill but with the mental and emotional heaviness of the revelation of this dark purpose which her younger sister clearly had in mind. She regarded the orderly tangle of trusses above them, which, with his own hands, Uncle Arnie had raised. It provided a roof over their heads and bastion against the wintry wrath outside. Chloe said, weakly, “It’s the principle of the thing, though. Eating another human being. You know what that’s called? Cannibalism. Cannibalism is bad.”

Daphne stilled. “Bad?” Exhaling, she said, “Look, didn’t we agree already that this—” she looked down “—fellow here classifies more along the lines of an animal, a pig, than a fellow? So, it’s actually not cannibalism, if you look at it a certain way,” she said, straightening her glasses.

“Did we agree on that?”

“Just now,” Daphne answered with a surprised look. “Yeah, I would say we did. You’re the one who brought it up!”

Kid Sister was right, she had brought it up. Sighing, Chloe laid a hand on her forehead. “It’s because I’m cold and hungry and having all kinds of crazy thoughts right now, so I didn’t know what I’m saying,” she said, hoping this explanation would satisfy Daphne and they could move on to a different subject. Maybe they could talk about snowflakes—how every one was unique. Or they could have a discussion about how rabbit, squirrel, or coyote meat tasted, and what might be the best way to go about getting them some.

Daphne got down on her knees and drew the fleshy forearm to herself, cradling it as if it were a child. “If I don’t get some of this high-density foodstuff soon…” she leveled her sights at Chloe, “it’s gonna be all bad. Here—” she tossed a match. “Daph the Destroyer dubs thee Chloe the Firestarter.” Daphne raised her voice, “Are you gonna help me to drag this bag of bones out the front door, or what? Daphne groaned. Her eyes blanked out and eyelids fluttered. She touched the side of her head. “Auugh...”

Chloe frowned. “You all right?”

“Yeah,” replied Daphne. “That bump on my head. Hurts. No biggie.”

Chloe looked at Daphne’s head. “I think you might have gotten a concussion.” With an edge in her voice, she said, “I had a concussion once, remember?”

Daphne’s red nose twitched. She turned her head away.

Chloe told herself that this was neither the time nor place for all of that; and besides, maybe it was, as Daphne had always insisted, just an accident. In the calmest voice she could muster, Chloe said, “I’ve got a question, if you don’t mind.”

Chloe’s steady, patronizing glare was meant to suggest that she, Chloe, was still the elder, and she, Daphne, the younger, and so she, Daphne, had better give it a rest for a second and give heed to the wisdom of Big Sister. It was rare that Chloe could even make this face. She had to be in a certain kind of very serious mood—which she was, after all that talk about concussions.

Daphne dropped the arm to the floor: it landed with a thud. She sat down, heavily. “What is it?” she asked in a voice devoid of protest.

Chloe fought back a smile. These moments, when it was she who had the podium instead of Kid Sister were about as rare as that serious face she had just made. “That first day,” Chloe said, sitting up inside the sleeping bag, “I thought we agreed to, remember—not ever do what you are wanting to do right now?”

Daphne replied, dourly, “It’s been revoked, that agreement.” She narrowed her eyes. “I mean, isn’t that what you want? All of this talk about how piggy and jerky a guy Uncle Arnie was, and so maybe he deserves to be…or anyhow we shouldn’t feel too bad if we were to…”

Chloe lowered her head. Sighing, she looked up. “Do you think, though, that maybe we’re trying to make him look bad so we can in our own minds excuse—”

“Excuse what, the horrors of getting fed? You’re saying you don’t like pig? Bacon’s good, right? Ham…?”

Chloe answered, softly, “I like ham.” She raised her voice, “But ham isn’t human.”

“What’s the difference? The motto of the moment is survival at any cost.” Daphne rose. “So, the interrogation’s over? C’mon, grab that other arm and help me drag—”

“Daphne…” Chloe frowned as she struggled to keep the sleeping bag from sliding off of her narrow shoulders. “You know, it’s only been a few days so far.”

Daphne snapped, “It’s been a week.”

“Yeah, we’re hungry, but it’s not like we’re on the verge of full-fledged starvation. I mean, look at you—you’ve lost some of that baby fat on your cheeks, even. It makes you look older.”

Daphne’s eyes bulged. “Wait—so is it a baby you’re calling me, or fat, or both?”

“I’m calling you—us—maybe a bit hasty. It’s still below freezing, so it’s not like the body is gonna spoil if we don’t chow down right now, today. And look—” Chloe pointed at the window, “see those clear skies?” The girls looked and saw golden rays of sunlight streaming into the cabin. It was the first time in four days the sun had poked its face through that grayish barricade of clouds. “See, and so maybe it’ll start warming up, the snow will melt, and we can venture out and try the truck again. I say we stick to our promise just a little longer then afterwards we can tell people at least we tried not to do it, we tried to do the right thing.” Chloe scratched the back of her head through her beanie “Sometimes the best and only thing to do is simply to wait,” she said, impressed by how grown-up this sounded.

Daphne exclaimed, “Try to do the right thing, is that what you just said? Well, I’d say the right thing to do is to get us what we need to survive, now, today.”

Chloe started to say something then stopped.

Daphne pursed her lips. “What?”

Chloe could tell by a certain glimmer in Daphne’s eye and her unhealthy pallor that she was in no mood to talk about chasing rabbits or scouring for berries. “Doing the right thing…” Chloe just mumbled, “by not eating our uncle.”

Within the silence overtaking them which was quiet and still only in the sense the girls did not speak, Daphne shuffled her body into the rays of sunlight slanting in from the window. Basking in this light, her un-showered hair drooping over her face like willow branches, she said, “Look, I’m gonna give it to you straight. Me, I have to go on living. I have mammoth expectations to live up to, big shoes to fill. For me to sacrifice my future because of some Emergency Sleeping Bag promise I made would be just, okay, bad.”

Chloe gulped. “It’s not a question of going on living but living the right way.” Touché, she thought, her words again sounding very adult-like. She narrowed her eyes. “Mammoth expectations, is that what you just said?” She shook her head. “No wait, that’s what Principal Wheeler said after he had handed you that certificate at that Talented and Gifted awards ceremony. Big shoes to fill? C’mon, Daph, that’s what Mom always says whenever she talks about your future and compares you to Grandpa—who went to Texas Tech, and which is where you are supposed to go, too, so long as you let everyone else make decisions for you about your future.”

Daphne recoiled as if struck. “You’re just jealous.”

Chloe flinched. “No.” She thought about it. “Well, maybe a little. But that’s not the point.”

“Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Daphne tapped her fingernails on the floorboards. “I’ll graduate with a masters in biology, pharmacology, bacteriology—anyway, some -ology, then I’ll work in a respectable position for some world-class firm to help develop new ways to, I don’t know, like, help robots replace humans. I’ll be a regular big cheese, I’ll make everyone proud of—” Daphne flinched, then flitted her eyelids. Her eyes blanked out momentarily. She pressed her hand against her head.

“A regular big cheese?” Chloe said, leveling her gaze. “Is that what you’re calling yourself now? Would you ever in a million years refer to yourself, or anyone, by words as cheesy as big cheese? No, wait—didn’t you tell me that was what your chemistry teacher called you. You know, when in that assembly she’d called you out before the entire junior high to explain how you had solved that really tough equation with the acetone?”

Daphne corrected, “It was benzene.”

Chloe narrowed her eyes. “Help robots replace humans? Yeah, and you’re on your way to becoming one yourself. I mean, you’re only fifteen years old—“

“Old enough for driver’s ed,” Daphne noted.

“You’re just a chi-ld. Your biggest concerns should be, like, band practice, or freshman dances, not whether the absolute mass of anhydrous ammonia is 3.12 kilowatts-per-centimeter.”

“Kilowatt-per-centimeter? What kind of measurement is that?”

Chloe crooked a smile. “A dumb, made-up one I guess.”

After the light giggles and smiles had faded, Daphne, slumping her shoulders, in a hoarse voice confessed she really did “like band practice and the dances more than figuring molecular formulas and...confusing radio-electronics-type stuff,” she added, looking at the floorboards.

Chloe smiled at that.

Daphne looked up. “Wanna know something else? Science, in the hands of modern man, is responsible for some of the most heinous crimes against humanity. The chemical industry produces agents that pollute, infect, and cripple animal life: GMOs, fillers, fracking, and a whole buncha other genetically-altered, mass-produced funk. I mean, if atomic energy or GMOs don’t wipe us out, some man-made virus will, right? It’s because of things like chemistry and biology I’ve even considered eating only organic, and wearing only handmade clothing items.”

“But you’re so good at chemistry and biology.”

Daphne raised an eyebrow. “So was Dr. Frankenstein. And look where it got him.”

Chloe couldn’t believe her ears. Buttons had been pushed, and so here was revealed the sunlight truth of the matter: Daphne’s wonder brain, with a little coaxing, could switch itself from Thomas Edison mode to resemble something along the lines of a normal, free-thinking pseudo-teen. Confidences won, and her own confidence surging, Chloe asked, “Oh, and didn’t you say once that your dream—what would make you happiest, would be to work as a manager of...oh, what’s the name of that store…?”

“Vall-ey Creek Clothing,” Daphne said the brand name softly, hesitantly, as if it were a four-letter one, then flushed with shame. But the bright eyes of her older sister, warm and welcoming yet firm as they held her younger sister’s gaze, offered the suggestion that she, Chloe, could be strong enough for both of them. Daphne explained, “Only, not just manage the place but like coordinate outfits for window displays and customize looks for customers. I mean, there’s no one-size-fits-all for everyone, right? Each of us deserves a different look.”

“A different look,” Chloe said, nodding. “For each of us. That’s right.”

Daphne’s eyes widened.

Chloe threw aside her nylon cocoon and walked over to remove the reddened hand off of her sister’s mouth. “What you just said is O-K.” With slow strokes she petted Daphne’s hair. “And even if it weren’t…this secret aspiration of yours would be welcome anyway because at least you would be thinking for yourself.” Under her breath, Chloe added, “For once.”

Daphne wheezed, impatiently. Clambering to her feet, she peered down at the body. “All right, so you’ve heard my confession. I’ve torn my heart out, told you I in fact hate science and about the dumb clothes.” She breathed. “Why, then, are we still talking about this?”

“Because I think it’s important. I don’t know.” Chloe wasn’t sure if she knew anything at this point, only that her every inclination was to try to buy more time to prevent Daphne from pressuring her into something they both might regret. “Look, maybe if we keep discussing, talking, brainstorming, we’ll be able to figure something—ourselves, maybe, even—out.”

Daphne’s shoulders slumped. “I guess that makes sense.” With a constrained effort, she sat back down on the floor. The sun-rays illuminating her brown hair gave her an almost angelic quality. “But—” she said, her voice flat and her sights far off, “it’s all so impossible, though. I would be failing them.”

Chloe blinked. “Who, Mom?”

“Not just her. Everyone. My teachers, Principal Wheeler, the whole friggin’ world!”

“At least you’d be true to yourself, though,” Chloe replied. She shook her head. “Daph, you think you’re so smart yet fail to see you would be the most courageous girl in all of Colorado were you to give your individuality a chance at selling hand-woven hats and handcrafted purses. Sure, you might deny yourself the chance of working in a profession that turns people into robots—I mean, which replaces humans with robots, but at least you would be helping us silly humans to dress nice.”

Daphne mock cheered. “Hurray for hats!” Directing her gaze at the frosty window-pane and the powdery pines and glistening snowbanks beyond, Daphne grew pensive. “But, see,” she turned to say, “the clothing gig would just be my day job. Meanwhile I would moonlight as…”

Chloe raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Daphne hesitated. “Poet.” She smiled, weakly. “I would write poetry.”

“Poetry?” Chloe asked. “You mean, like Emily Dickinson?”

Daphne folded her hands. “Yay, ‘tis so. Though, I beseech thee, convey not this preponderance of mine to the mother of we, lest she think of me ill.”

Chloe knew that any humorous attempt by Daphne was bound to come out corny. Still, she was not a little impressed with this latest example of Kid Sister’s on-the-spot lyrical ability.

Her eyes filled with stars, Daphne said, “This world we live in, even this place here…” she extended her gaze to the four corners of the cabin “…I have so much to say about it, so many emotions, feelings, and thoughts. I wish I could capture all those thoughts then pin them down on paper. Something deep-down inside me wants to write, rhyme, and compose. I wanna ode!”

Chloe reached for her sister’s small, icicled hand then held it fast. “You can do it. I’ll stand with you, too, if that is what it takes. Once we get outta here, that is. Which we will.”

“No, I can’t!” Daphne wailed. “Everyone would disapprove, hate me, feel sorry for me. Everyone says—time and again—they want me to be good to myself, that I need to do things for me. Yet it always turns out to be what’s good for them…and you know what that doesn’t include? Writing poems and arranging clothes, you guessed it.” Wiping the moisture in her eyes, Daphne sat up. Life and light returned to those eyes. “Anyway, the teachers, principal and all the others, are older, and so surely they know better than we do.” She looked over. “Remember, Chloe, that time Mom said that only crazy, depressed, and financially-irresponsible people write poetry?”

Chloe shook her head. “She’s wrong.”

Daphne looked far off. “No, I’m beginning to think she was right.” Sliding herself over, Daphne stuck her finger posing as a turkey thermometer into the flabby ribs of their uncle. “So, are we gonna get ourselves un-hungry here, or what?”

Chloe wagged her finger. “Remember, Daph, what I just said about—”

“Forget what you just said. It is time! I am in charge of me, and not you. I’m starving, can’t you see that?” Daphne stood. The flinty look in her eyes suggested that she would roast him alone if she had to…

When Chloe turned to exclaim, “Oh, my God! I just remembered…last night I had remembered something all the while I couldn’t sleep because the cold and coyotes kept waking me up.” Chloe walked, but not in the direction her sister was probably expecting. She bundled herself comfortably back into the sleeping bag. Lying on her stomach with her chin parked atop her hands, “Remember, Daph,” she said, “when we were really little—”

“It was no accident,” Daphne said, softly, allowing the words to linger in the cold cabin air for a while as she studied the floorboards. She raised her voice, “There, I said it. Happy now?” Her eyes bulged. “I was mad, OK? What, you’ve never gotten mad at anyone before?”

Chloe sat speechless. Finally, her head stopped spinning and her thoughts came clear; then her face reddened. She pursed her lips to try to hold back the fury she felt arising within her. In the lingering silence which followed, Chloe lasered in on her sister with a dark, penetrating stare.

Daphne slanted a lame smile. “I’m sah-wee,” she said. “Daphne was baaaaaaad that day.”

Chloe blinked, repeatedly. She exhaled. At least she’s apologizing, she told herself. And it was a long time ago, besides. Focus, focus. Closing her eyes, Chloe took a deep breath. “Anyway, like I was saying...” she said, opening them “your birthday party, at Grandma’s, when we were really little, that time they were all trying to make you play chess—do you remember?”

Daphne lost her smile as her face did its best corkscrew impression. “W-hat?” she intoned, harshly. “We’re about to die here, remember? I hope this is relevant.”

“Well?” Chloe said.

Daphne rubbed her nose. “Vaguely…” she replied in the voice of exasperation, “I remember. I mean, I was only like five years old at the time.”

“Close. I was eight, and you were six. Remember that day—how all of the adults called you over to ask if you wanted to play chess against Cousin Danny, wagering that you and your wonder brain could beat him even though you had never played chess before and he was, like, really good?”

“I remember,” said Daphne gloomily. “Also, I remember crying afterwards like a baby up in my room. I wanted to play hide-and-seek with my friends not stupid chess with my high-school-age cousin. That was pretty much the worst birthday party ever.”

You’re pretty much the worst person ever, Chloe wanted to reply. She pushed the thought back with the help of gritted teeth and a long exhal. She said, in an even voice, “Remember, Daph, remember—how they kept insisting, how they wouldn’t let it go: ‘Missy, you challenge Danny or you go to your room.’ So, you just walked right up to your room, didn’t you?”

“Friggin’, like, y-eah, I remember.” Daphne nodded in earnest.

“Well, so, maybe you remember also who it was had tapped you on the shoulder on your way up those stairs then spoke that word of encouragement in your ear?”

Daphne followed Chloe’s gaze to the body.

“Yeah. Him.”

Daphne wet her lips. “Now that you mention it, I do recall he said something to me. What was it, though?” Daphne clamped her eyelids in concentration.

“You told me what he’d said right afterwards, but I don’t remember, either.” Chloe got up and walked over. A soft hand on her sister’s shoulders, she said, “Daph, you don’t know this, but while you were upstairs Uncle Arnie was petitioning on your behalf that absolutely you should be allowed to play hide-and-seek with your friends, and that if Mom and Dad wanted so badly to watch chess, why didn’t they play themselves? Remember, when they let you back down ten minutes later they were all so nice to you and how Mom and Dad were playing chess?”

The words escaped Daphne’s blue lips, “Just be yourself, pardner…was what he’d said to me. In that twangy, country accent of his, he had come over, and said it.”

“Yes, that was it! Also, you’d said—well, I don’t remember exactly, but basically you said those words had meant a lot to you at the time.”

In a trembling voice, and as if in a daze, Daphne muttered, “They did…” She came to. She beheld her sister. “Come to think of it, they do now, too, at this very moment. Oh, Chloe, you don’t know how much!” She sniffled. “I had forgotten. Oh my God, I had forgotten.” Tears welled up in Daphne’s eyes.

Chloe felt the tears coming, too. Truth be told, she could sympathize. Their father had always wanted her to play softball, having once played baseball as a second baseman for CU. Chloe wanted to play basketball. She could dribble well, and shoot. It was only when the coach of the junior team team had sat her down to tell about how her “semi-athleticism” and “good three-point shooting” could help the Cougars win more games, that she finally decided to try out for the team. She made the team, her father relented, and all of the arguing stopped. Then, her father had really relented the year afterward when he died from pancreatic cancer.

This sudden thought of her father’s death was not at all helping in the tear department, even as one trickled down Chloe’s cheek. As much to console herself as Daphne, she reached to squeeze Daphne’s shoulder. “It is O-K.”

Daphne pursed her lips. A second later she threw her sister’s hand off as if it were a tarantula. “No, it’s not OK,” she exclaimed. “I mean, I mean, here we are, like, stranded at the friggin’ North Pole with our lives and future job opportunities at stake, and my tear ducts start secreting these glandular emissions in an expression of some, like, weirdo emotional reaction I seem to be having.” Daphne wiped the tears away. “God, what is wrong with me?”

Daphne’s hand spasmed, the convulsions ratcheting up her arm; her neck twitched; her head jerked back; her eyes rolled into her head; the color of her face washed out into an ashy pallor. Daphne froze up all over.

“What—what’s wrong!” Chloe’s eyes flew open. “Oh my God, are you all right?”

Daphne offered a papery little chuckle—as her expressionless eyes looked straight on. She touched the side of her head. Moments passed, until into those eyes returned the pupils and the first signs of awareness. Slowly, a bit wobbly, Daphne walked, halting at the counter-top where her fingers seized upon something. Daphne did an about-face. Her expression contorted into one prim and proper: pursed lips, chin up, nostrils flaring, and eyebrows arching.

With a full-on and well-intoned British accent, “Just a spoonful of suga’, dear—” Daphne said, eyeing the salt and pepper packets she held in her hand, “makes the medicine—” she turned to the corpse “—go down.”

Chloe gulped.

Daphne cocked her head then broke into song, “Chim, chim-ney, chim, chim-ney, chim, chim, che-ree…good luck to Chlo-e and her empty bell-y; but now as for me…”

Chloe bit her lip. Strangeness had entered the cabin, there could be no doubt.

Assuming a nonchalant, everyday air, as if nothing was wrong—meant to keep Mary Poppins here from slipping further down into whatever dark place this injury, illness, stressful situation, was pulling her—Chloe arose. She walked over, laid a hand on Daphne’s shoulder, and her attentions to her own former thought. In a weak, but clear voice she said, “Emotions—is what you are having. But they’re normal. Daphne’s wonder brain should know it’s because she’s human that she cries.”

Curving a smile, “Just a spoonful of suga’, dear…” Daphne said, tearing into one of the salt packets. Reaching for her sister’s hand, she sprinkled some salt on it.

Chloe felt a chill go up her spine. “Or at least I think you’re human.” She looked down. “What is this? Why are you putting salt on me?”

“’Tis suga’,” Daphne corrected. “T‘makes the medicine go down.”

A wash of terror swept over Chloe’s face. “Oh my god, why are you looking at me all crazy like that?” Chloe thought about it. “It’s your...” she gulped “...stairy-eyed look.”

Daphne’s face was one big, toothy grin. “I stare at you, dear?”

No, Chloe thought, it’s the same wild look you had on that day on the stairs.

Daphne cork-screwed her face until it reddened; then she launched forward.

“OWWWW!” Chloe screeched. “Stop this. Stop! STOP!” With one final, resolute yank, Chloe broke free.

With the back of her forearm, Daphne swiped the blood on her lips. “Oops,” she said, with large, guilty eyes.

“You…bit me!” Chloe stammered, studying the gash on her hand.

Daphne lowered her arm. The smudge of blood had streaked up her cheek. “You got your hand too close. Sorry. I couldn’t help it.” Daphne lowered her head, sulkily.

“I’m not dead yet!” Chloe cradled her wounded hand.

Daphne eyed the damage. Chloe grimaced in pain as her younger sister touched the mangled flesh just above her knuckle.

With wide eyes, Chloe leaned away from her sister. She forced a smile. “It’s not bad,” she said, flexing her fingers.

“Friends?” with a broad grin, Daphne extended a hand.

Chloe kept her own hand to herself. “Have you gone crazy, or something? Maybe that bump to your noggin is affecting you more than we thought. You did crack the ice when you landed, you know.”

Daphne smoothed her fingers over the bump on the side of her head. With a faltering smile, she said, “I’m fine.”

Chloe pursed her lips. “You are not fine. You are not yourself right now.” With wide eyes, she took a step backward, then another.

“Myself?” Daphne said. “Who am I, though?” Folding her arms, she thought about it. “I know. I’m Dora the Explorer, Thomas Edison, a member of the Donner Party. No, wait. That’s right. I’m Emily Dickinson.” Daphne narrowed her eyes. “No, not Emily Dickinson. Definitely not her.”

“You’re sick, is what you are, Daph,” Chloe said. “You’re not well.” Then, after Chloe clarified that she and her hand were “fine, no worries,” and after Daphne again insisted she was “back to normal now, I swear,” and it appeared she was, Chloe, with slow, cautious steps, approached her sister. The closer she got the more she trembled. What Chloe really wanted to do was run like that time Daphne had run from the coyotes. But could she abandon her sister, who clearly needed her help? She said, “Anyway, so the point I was trying to make before you…got all weird on me just now and started looking like the Exorcist girl and almost gave me a heart attack, was that your life—you—are much more than just a future job opportunity. Your brain can not only think; it can feel, imagine, hope, believe…”

Daphne did not say anything for a long time. Finally, clutching the side of her head, “Also, my brain can hurt,” she said, with a groan. Wiping a tear from her eye and the blood from her cheek, she nodded.

* * *

The girls decided to hold a Second Emergency Sleeping Bag Meeting, and after further deliberations, agreed to renew their promise not to cannibalize their maybe-not-un-favorite uncle, or at least not until a longer space of time had passed. Braving the darkness and sub-zero temperatures, Chloe tried the truck again. No luck. Slamming the driver’s-side door, she cleared the snow off of the truck then keyed in to claim the notebook and pen in the glove compartment. Their uncle had once used these to tally his estimable collection of Black Angus heifers.

“Here—” Chloe said, handing the pen and paper to Daphne. “It’s not that poets are crazy, but that people who feel like going crazy write poetry to help them feel less crazy. It’s therapy for them; and enchantment for the rest of us. Tomorrow morning, when it’s light out, Daphne Benson’s gonna write the world some poems.”

Daphne sat scowling at her sister’s offering.

Chloe raised an eyebrow. “It might make you famous. They might put you on TV. They might refer to you as the second-coming of that crazy-cool Emily Dickinson lady. Didn’t I hear you say she was your hero?” She extended her arm with a pen in hand at Daphne. “Remember what you said about how today’s storms are tomorrow’s rainbows?”

Sighing, Daphne accepted the writing implements. “Emily Dickinson is not my hero.”

Chloe raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I think she is.”

Daphne glared down at the pen as if it was a handful of fish guts. “The only thing poets do well is starve.”

Chloe smiled. “You mean, like a starving artist? That’s good, really good. See, how you have a way with words, Daph?”

DAY NINE

What Daphne guessed, right after Chloe’s wheezings had awakened her, was that it was after midnight; what she knew was that she was fed up. She cracked her eyes open. Gazing at the body, she pondered. Her exact thought was that it shouldn’t have to require a genius like herself to see that the writing on the wall was written in blood. “But how?” Daphne whispered. “Should I just walk over there and start biting?” The sounds of Chloe snoring next to her disrupted her thoughts about strategy. She so wished the bitch would just shut up; it was driving her nuts!

Daphne scolded herself for thinking of her sister as a bitch. That was wrong. That was Bad Daphne talking. Through no fault of her own, Chloe was going though the same thing she was. She clenched her fist. It was Uncle who was the at-fault party!

What an idiot he had been! I mean, who takes off for the mountains and forgets to take his meds? she wondered. Who brings kids on a camping trip and allows them only PB&Js; and the J is not even J, it’s marmalade? Who in the world besides Uncles eats marmalade? I mean, for reals. “Now, girls, you can feed on the fish you catch in the pond; your survivalist needs will be your motivation to brave the great outdoors.” Yeah, until the friggin’ pond freezes over, you big moron! Daphne reckoned there should exist some postmortem punishment for really stupid behaviors like the kind Uncle showcased—like getting an arm gnawed off. Daphne narrowed her eyes. Maybe he did all of that on purpose, to place them in this very situation.

He never liked me, Daphne told herself.

She eyed the dark form lying in the corner of the room. “Oh, yes, he did,” she whispered, her expression losing its sneer as she re-remembered her birthday party. Then, there was that time he had taken them to Chuck E Cheese’s back when she was ten. Mom was wrong, then. He had done something else for them “in fifteen whole years;” and Daphne had no real reason to believe he was a bad person otherwise.

Groaning, she rested her head gently down on the floorboards. Maybe Chloe was right. Maybe getting some of these jumbled thoughts down on paper might help her to sort them out. She eyed the pen, notepad, and eyeglasses at her side, then reached for them.

An hour later, her energized brain-cells jettisoning rough-edged ideas that blossomed to fully-realized truisms within the space of seconds, her heart pulsating with every known, or so it seemed, human emotion—Daphne put the finishing touches on her twenty-one lines of rhyming verse, a poem, which she titled “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep at the North Pole”.

It’s a good poem, she decided, reading it over one last time. Oh, I forgot one last thing. She replaced the dots on her i’s and j’s with hearts. She set the notepad aside, and leaned back.

Outside, the wind whistled through the aspens, and carnivores with tooth and claw at the ready stalked through the snowy darkness in search of prey. At the break of dawn, Daphne laid wide awake. Tossing and turning for hours on end, her fragile new idealism pecked to shreds by a constant barrage of second thoughts in the form of mental images of Mom, Grandpa Lou, Principal Wheeler, math professor guys, and the kids at school, Daphne reached for the notepad.

With a flourish of her pen, reticent at first, but then, her sleepy gaze morphing into a narrowed-eyed smirk, Daphne scratched the pen-tip across her poem until nothing readable remained. Daphne inked out those opening lines which spoke of the soul’s search for meaning, those few stanzas telling of how sun-rays streaming into a freezing log cabin couldn’t pair up with the deeper-down warmth a person could feel for things like friendship and family; she scratched out that whole dumb part about the nobility of the human soul. Daphne crossed out everything.

She flung the notepad from her. It struck the wall with a loud thud.

Chloe’s head twitched. She mumbled in her sleep, “No, I didn’t just fall, Mom. That’s not what actually happened. Daphne pushed me down the stairs!”

Daphne petted her sister’s soft hair until she began to snore again; then, Daphne removed her glasses, and laid back alongside her sister. The last thing Daphne thought before dozing off was that the irascible Bad Daphne needed a name—something besides just Bad Daphne, to help give her a more clearly-defined identity. “Maybe I can fashion that identity after some famous person, even. Everyone needs a role model,” she said then fell asleep.

* * *

“KRBC Denver News at Five,” the voice on the TV screen said. “Marie Fletcher here. This just in. Governor Hamm has initiated plans for a statewide ‘Daphne Day’ in celebration of Daphne the Great, Colorado’s newest, and cleverest, superheroine. Unless you’ve been living in a cave, or say, in some remote cabin nestled in the rocky crevices of the San Juan Mountains just outside of Montrose—” canned sniggerings off to the side by co-host Albert “You can call me Al” Baker “—you’ve probably heard the story of Daphne Benson, the Grand Junction prodigy who, in just a few short months, has become a national celebrity. Guess how many friends she has on Facebook now? Over a gazillion! Speaking of faces, how about this one—”

[The video cues in to the image of a plump-cheeked girl posing with a lascivious smile, red-rimmed eyes, and lips slathered in blood].

“By now iconic, this disturbing yet evocative image as captured by a rescue-party member shortly after hearing giggles coming from underneath the covers of a sleeping bag smeared with dried marmalade crud, has come to grace magazine covers from Newsweek, to Nickelodeon.

“And strewn beside Daphne inside of that sleeping bag was—her prey, the bloodied mass that was older sister Chloe Benson. Discovered, also, at the site, was the much-compromised corpse of Arnold Walker, Daphne’s maternal uncle.”

[The screen transitions to a video of the sly-eyed teen in an interview on late-night TV].

In her shrill but strident voice, Daphne replied, “Well, you see, Conan, it was like this: I just couldn’t help myself! He was actually quite yummy. And Chloe—that’s my big sister—kept making such a fuss about it.” Daphne rolled her eyes. “You know how big sisters can get.” Light laughter from the audience. “I kinda just lost it, and pigged out!” Sporadic laughter from the audience. “By the way, Conan—” Daphne sucked her cheeks in “—do you think I look fat?” The audience erupts with laughter.

The newswoman said, “No charges have been filed against Daphne Benson for her in-cold-blood devouring of older sister Chloe Benson, and nor are they expected to be. Just speaking for myself, though, Marie Flesh-eater, may I say for the record that she was a baaaaaaaaaaaad girl.”

[The video switches to a clip of Daphne speaking at a rally].

“People always tell me ‘Daphne the Great, you make me so proud.’ Which is strange, because, sometimes I wonder how proud I am of myself. I thought I was doing it for me, yet that’s really not who I am at all.”

Marie Flesh-eater squirmed in her newscaster seat. “You did it for us, Daphne the Great, us all. You put yourself and your own needs first, enough said.” Clearing her throat, the newswoman redirected her attention to the cue cards. “What does the future hold? Although she’s thrilled to be cast in a cameo role for Warner Brothers’ new zombie adventure flick, Extinction Event, directed by pioneer George Donner, of the infamous Donner Party, Daphne says what she looks forward to most is her lifelong dream of attending a leading technical institute to develop technologies that will help advance what she refers to as ‘the inevitable takeover of Robotic Personality Systems’.”

Al Baker grinned. “Wow,” he said. “Just wow. That sounds peachy keen, eh, Maureen? Robotic Personality Systems? Why, I’d say that little girl is quite the...”

Slowly, Marie turned to this man seated next to her in his stuffed white shirt and ridiculous newscaster’s smile. Flashing her teeth, she snapped at him, drew back, then snapped again, attacking his face. Her incisors tore at the soft cheek flesh. Grunting, growling, snarling, all the while the man made gurgling sounds as he choked on his own blood, Marie thrashed her head with the savagery and force of a tiger until, finally, the nose came loose. Tendrils of face bits and the freshets of blood invariably landed all over the KRBC news desk.

Swiping the scraps of her meal from the corner of her mouth, Marie exclaimed, “That’s what he gets for calling me Maureen. It’s Marie!” She cleared her throat. “And now for the weather…”


Daphne felt a tap on her shoulder. Groaning, she said, “Leave me alone. I’m sleeping.”

Daphne could hear the sound of the sleeping bag un-zippering. Tapping her sister’s shoulder again, Chloe whispered, “I just heard a knock at the door.”

Slowly, Daphne opened her eyes. Wiping the sleep away with her furled fingers, she joined her sister in looking at the cabin door.

They heard a faint, knocking sound.

Chloe threw back the sleeping bag then hopped up.

“Wait.” Daphne grabbed her sister’s ankle. “Maybe it’s, um, a bear.”

Chloe narrowed her eyes. “Bears don’t knock on doors, do they?”

Daphne rocked herself forward into a seated position. She flattened her palms against the cold, splintery floorboards. “I don’t know. They might. If they’re hungry enough and, like, smell children or something.” A bittersweet feeling washed over Daphne, draining all of the blood from her face and making her heart sink. Getting rescued without doing anything heroic or interesting isn’t very heroic or interesting, she thought, as Chloe rose.

Daphne could see it in her sister’s eyes; she could see it in the way she slumped her shoulders and sighed. Even before Chloe groaned, “Ugh, it’s just a dang branch knocking up against the door,” Daphne knew hope was not lost.

Chloe plodded back to the sleeping then laid down.

Daphne said, “Guess what? I just had the weirdest dream. A famous TV person was in it.” She looked at Chloe. “So were you.”

Chloe zippered the sleeping bag then covered her shoulders with it. A moment later, she was back on her feet. “No, you guess what. That branch just gave me an idea. You lie here, you’re sickly. I’m gonna go outside. What I’m gonna do is pile up some dry branches then light a match and start a bonfire. The snow is a mile deep out there but the skies are clearing. Plus, we’re on a mountain, the whole county will be able to see our smoke signal.”

Daphne rolled on her side. “It won’t work,” she said, closing her eyes.

Chloe blinked. “Why not?”

Daphne exhaled. “All people will see is someone at the top of the mountain having a campfire, or burning something. They wouldn’t interpret it as a message.”

Chloe furrowed her brow. “Well, maybe we could...” she pondered; brightening, she said, “use, like, Morse code or whatever. We can send an SOS.”

Daphne opened her eyes. “SOS?” She sat up.

Chloe gulped. “Yeah.” She walked to the window and looked out. “What I could do is get a big branch with lots of leaves then hold it over the smoke at, like, long then short then long intervals. People will see someone is trying to send a message—maybe not an SOS, but something; and that bottom line they need help.” Chloe beamed. “See, we waited, and the answer came. I think it’ll work.”

Daphne thought so, too. Suddenly, she despised her sister for reals. The bitch had figured it out, and she had not! Chloe would tell everyone at school about how she had saved her poor, sickly sister from the brink of death. Daphne’s reputation would be ruined! They would call her book-smart but not too smart otherwise; they would feel sorry for her; they would praise Chloe, maybe even give her an award of some kind. Daphne’s stomach growled, loudly.

“A dream about me, really?” Chloe said. “Do tell.”

Lying down, Daphne turned away from Chloe. “Nah. You were just a minor character, anyway. Someone else was the star.”

“So? Tell me.”

Daphne rolled over. Grinning, she studied her sister’s chubby cheek. “Maybe dreams really can come true,” she said, in a hollow voice. She looked at the matches on the counter. “That’s a good idea, Chloe. You go do your big-leafy-branch-and-fire thing. I’ll just lie here all sickly-like, staring at the walls.”

Chloe stood.

“Chloe the Firestarter...” Daphne said, as her sister made for the door with the match in her hand. “You talk too much. That’s the problem. I’m sorry.” Chloe shifted her gaze to the corner of the room. “By the way, could you do me a small favor while you’re up?”

Chloe followed Daphne’s gaze to the body.

Daphne grinned. “No, it’s not him I’m looking at. It’s those tools on his chest. See, that hammer there? Could you bring it to me, please?”

Chloe retrieved the hammer then handed it over. “Why do you need this?”

Daphne hefted it, feeling the weight of it. She swung it back and forth. “I need this to bash your head in the next time you start snoring. That precious head of yours won’t just smack against carpeted stairs this time. It’ll get whacked by the real deal!”

Chloe stiffened. “You’re joking, right?”

Daphne smiled. “Sure, uh-huh.” She laughed, loudly. She lost the smile. “What, are you gonna wait for the fire to start itself? You’re not gonna save me just standing there.”

_______________

The energy in the studio was electric. It was everything she had ever dreamed. The audience was neatly dressed in their button-down shirts and fancy slacks, and their wide eyes seemed to follow her every move with fascination. She could almost see the viewers at home thumbing up the volume on their remotes, hungry to hear what the cleverest girl in Colorado had to say next. Her new boyfriend, Brad, Mom, Grandpa Lou, Grandma Jerri, Cousin Carl, along with some of her friends from jail, stood on the sidelines just off-stage with uncomfortable-looking smiles on their faces. Daphne wondered why they couldn’t smile for reals. It was the same forced smiles they had that day in the courtroom after the judge had pounded his gavel, declaring, “Innocent, by way of temporary insanity!”

Chloe had not been able to make it to that hearing, nor this TV spot, for the obvious reasons. With a feeling inside of her that was shame, sadness, and excitement all rolled into one, Daphne noted, She did make it to the funeral, though.

Daphne raised her eyes. The camera lights shone at them as brightly as that rescue-worker’s flashlight had shone on that bloody, yet turning-point November evening.

Daphne cleared her throat. “Well,” she said, answering the question the man across the desk had asked. “It was like this. I just couldn’t help myself! Plus, I probably wasn’t entirely myself when, you know, I did what I did. It was Bad Daphne who did it, actually.”

The man tapped his pen on his desk. “Well, the experts say that when we’re sick, desperate, stressed out, or drunk, that’s when our true selves tend to show. Is this Bad Daphne your true self?”

Daphne cocked her head. “No, not really. She just comes along every once in a while and does bad things.” She touched the man’s hand. “I don’t drink, by the way, Conan. That happens after the show.” She flashed a smile at the snickering audience. “Just kidding.” Daphne shifted in her seat. “Tragedy? See, for myself, Conan, I didn’t view it as a tragedy, but as an opportunity to prove myself.” Weakly, she added, “Those salt and pepper packets actually helped a lot.”

Grinning at his audience until their laughter subsided, the man at the desk said, “Actually, Conan works for our competitor network. I’m—”

“I know who you are, duh,” Daphne said, to renewed light laughter. “You’re John Twist, ABC’s newest late-night talk-show host. It was an inside joke.”

The host leaned forward in his seat. “We know who you are, too, young lady. The most clever, passionate, bumpy-headed, bad-ass girl in all of Colorado. You’re a regular Harley Quinn, super-villain extraordinaire. The world doesn’t know whether to love or hate you.”

Daphne pursed her lips. “Harley Quinn,” she muttered, musing.

The audience was silent.

“You were a regular Tom Edison out there, too, the way you relayed those smoke signals.”

Touching the host’s arm, Daphne said, “OK, guess who I am now?” She cracked her knuckles, then said in a high-pitched, squeaky voice, “A-OK, Mr. J. I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and makes a six-inch diameter exit wound in you.” Snickering, Bad Daphne answered the many blank expressions with, “I’m Harley Quinn. How’s about that?”

The host rolled his eyes. “Can we please speak to Daphne? Is Daphne somewhere in there?” he said, to the sound of diffused laughter from the audience.

Daphne lit up. “Good Daphne, you mean? Hold on.” She shrugged her shoulders to loosen them. “OK, guess who I am now... No, wait...” Daphne wrinkled her brow in concentration, pursed her lips, and batted her eyes. At length, she looked up. “Sorry, Good Daphne has left the building. Would you like to leave a message?”

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